The other day I was sitting with a group of wonderful women and one of them posed the question…
“What would you do if men had a 9pm curfew?”
Such a simple question and yet so powerful. Just thinking about this brought about immediate physical and emotional changes. My stomach relaxed, my soul lightened, and I felt free. Wow! What would I do if I knew nothing bad would happen to me?
I would go for a walk at night
I would sleep with all the windows open
I would sleep outside
I would dress differently
I would do more things alone at night
I would park farther away
This simple question made me realize how much I live in fear of men. How much I tailor my life to avoid conflict, unwanted attention, and potential assault. I knew it to some extent but I hadn’t been really aware of how much I limit my life because of that fear. It’s like an invisible jail constructed of emotions.
“1 IN 4 GIRLS AND 1 IN 6 BOYS ARE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BEFORE AGE 18”
This is where that jail comes from; messages received as children and reinforced by people like the so called “First Lady” who tells women not to report assault with out evidence, but men assaulted by priests as children are readily believed and actions are taken.
THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE NOW.
What can we do? (because without having choices we continue to feel victimized)
- Believe and support victims
- Speak up/Speak out
- Ask the good men in our lives to speak up and join us
- Support groups such as PAVE (Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment) to help “shatter the silence of sexual violence”.
So, I ask you again…. What would you do if men had a 9pm curfew?