What is sexy?

Sexy Blog

Today, I went on a photo shoot with a photographer friend of mine. I was serving as the test model for a collection of fine art, lifestyle images. When I asked what clothes I should bring, she answered “wear what makes you feel sexy”.

Sounds like an easy request, but it wasn’t.  What is sexy? Is it dressing provocatively? Is it showing cleavage, legs, or a bare midriff? Is it a pair of shoes or heavy eyeliner? Is it lace,  leather, or silk? Is it tight body hugging clothes or barely there outfits that leave little to the imagination?

Yes and No.

Being sexy is an individual opinion. What is sexy to one may not be sexy to someone else. It’s all a matter of personal preference. It’s subjective. Everything can be sexy; it’s all about how you feel at that moment. I think it is about what makes you feel good and what you find attractive. I don’t think its only about attracting a mate or attracting attention. I think it can be an internal feeling of self-love and self-attraction.

So, as I perused my closet looking for outfits, I had to define what made me feel sexy.  I realized that sexy for me is Confidence and Strength; the ability to stand tall, head held high, and a sense of “owning it”. To me, being comfortable in my own skin, is sexy.

So what did my collection of CLOTHES include? Well, I brought a comfortable pair of slightly baggy girlfriend jeans, high heeled tall leather boots, a halter-top summer jumper, a flowy kimono scarf, a choker necklace, a long goddess necklace, big earrings, rings on my index finger, and a flowy, low-back top. What else helped me feel sexy? The wind blowing through my hair, being barefoot in nature, and open and outstretched arms.

In reflection of this little mental exercise, I realized I don’t give being sexy much attention. After being married for 21 years and climbing up on 50 years old, it’s just not on the top of my to-do list. But it made me feel good to feel desirable, comfortable, free, and full of self love. Whether or not I will try to be or look sexy more often is not really the point BUT taking time to harness that feeling is worth it.

So thank you, Carol, for asking the question and providing me an additional opportunity to feel alive and comfortable in my own skin.

So what makes you feel sexy?

What does sexy mean to you?

Is it strength and confidence or something else?

I would love to hear your take on it.




Time, Time, Time


We all wish we had more time. There is not a person alive, that I have met, who has ever said “I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want”. It’s always “I don’t have enough time” or “I am too busy for….”.

Well, that’s life. We all have things we need to do to live and for society to function. However, I think many of us spend too much time on things that are not important to us and don’t make time for our top priorities…like family, self-care, hobbies, rest, our health, a career or lifestyle change, etc.

For example, for me, Facebook is a time suck. I can think I am going on it for 10 minutes but 1 hour later I am grumpy and stiff from sitting and scrolling. In this scenario, I lost 50 minutes I could have used to meditate, read, work on my newsletter or an upcoming event, or return a call. Heck, I could have prepped healthy snacks/meals for the week or have gone for a walk. So now, I limit my time on social media so I don’t waste my free time, but I don’t feel deprived, and I can have time for what is most important to me…and it’s not surfing the web.

There is also an app for that. (of course there is)  She Knows: programs to limit time on social media

Managing your calendar is especially important for people who do not have a regular schedule. When each day is different, it’s hard to get into a routine. For me, there are days that I even need to schedule time for my shower, just to make sure my schedule is manageable, I get done what is most important to me, and I don’t over-extend myself.

If you want more time for what you truly love…get organized and just schedule it. No if’s, and’s, or but’s. Make a place holder in your calendar and set a reminder. If it’s important to you, it’s important to give it the attention it deserves. Almost all of us have some time in our schedules available or where we are wasting time.

When I work with my coaching clients, every goal is defined by a day, time, duration for a very specific action they want to accomplish in the week.  They ALWAYS come back saying how much that strategy worked and how they got so much more accomplished. Even those that really fight that level of commitment do come back to say how much it helped…IF what they are doing is important to them.

So, if you really want to do something. Put it on your calendar. It can always be moved/delayed if something comes up, but do not delete and forget about it.

Your personal priorities are important and deserve your time. Do not give yourself away. Create time boundaries that protect what is most important to you.

If you do this, I think you will find that you feel more focused, energized, and accomplished.


PS: Social Media addiction is real and growing. Read this article by LifeWire on ways to beat Facebook Addiction if you or someone you know is struggling to gain control over their Facebook usage.  Beat Facebook Addiction