“A good support network of friends and/or family helps too. I could never have made it through some of my tough times without my husband and my dear friends. Who you surround yourself with does matter. So surround yourself with good, positive people who raise you up and help you be the person you really want to be, not who others think you should be.”
I started this post back in June but didn’t have the time, heart, or whatever I needed to complete it until today. Last night, I spent a quiet, relaxing night with friends. After a long work week, Friday nights can be tough. All I want to do is relax at home. But there are some people in my life that I can be with and still relax at that level. Hanging with them is like sitting at home. I can hang out in my pj’s, no make-up needed, no fancy food, no entertaining required; just a simple relationship.
What’s nice about these comfortable and supportive relationships is that there is no drama, no work. These friends accept you for who you are, faults and all. There is mutual caring, mutual sharing, laughs, acceptance, and a true level of connection. With these friends, you can just hang out and be yourself.
Humans are social animals and need social connections. Some may only need/want a couple special friends, while others thrive on a larger circle of friends. Either way, I think it is important to have these types of soul-filled connections mixed into your life. These special friends also don’t have to be friends you have known for a long time, it can be someone you just met. I know I have friends that I felt a deep connection to on our first meeting. These are those special friendships that feel like connections of the soul; like finding a long-lost friend.
Whether you are a social butterfly who enjoys all sorts of relationships or the private person who is fine with just a small group of friends, it’s important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. People who tear you down, are insensitive, selfish, social climbers that compete with you, or stab in you the back are not good for your soul. Those type of relationships are work and only seek to wear down your self-esteem and steal your energy. Are they really worth it? I don’t think so; not for me.
It is okay not to attend a social event if you feel uncomfortable or know you will find your energy drained. It does not necessarily mean the person/people are not good but the situation may not good for you. Before I attend any party or event, I ask stop and ask myself if I really want to go. Sometimes it’s yes, sometimes it’s no. It may have more to do with me at that moment than the party itself. I listen to my heart and my gut. Does the question elicit a tightening or a relaxation response. When I go to something in spite of my instincts saying don’t go, I always end up regretting my decision. So I am trying to listen to my instincts more and avoid situations that will leave me feeling drained, for whatever reason. I never regret listening to my inner voice or my body.
Life is short, our free time is short. Some of us just have limited energy and need to pick and choose what we can spend that energy on. This may mean less social engagements but it can mean more meaningful engagements. Some of us may have lots of energy and love being surrounded by people all the time. There is no wrong way if it brings you happiness.
Surround yourself with good people who feed and support your soul. ❤