LOVE, not shame

Today, I am writing to process some things that have been bothering me this weekend…the negativity and shaming on social media and in society, in general. It is a horrible thing to put others down or shame others in order to get your point across. This attitude is one of superiority and plain meanness. Nothing in this world gets accomplished by negativity and degrading others.


“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ― John Holmes

There is a reason they say “You attract more bees with honey” and that is because it is true. As a society, we need to start approaching some of our problems with love and a desire to help others. This does not mean help person A by hurting persons B.  Contrary to apparently popular belief, you cannot shame someone into getting better.  Those who need help, need love, support, and guidance; not degradation and shame.

When you degrade or shame others, you ultimately shame and degrade yourself. Remember no one is perfect. We can all do better in many aspects of our lives. None of us has a right to judge another person or persons. We do not know their journey just as they do not know ours.

However, in our society, we see this nastiness all the time.  It’s in our politics, corporations, interpersonal relationships, social media, entertainment industry, and more. If we want to be happy, genuinely happy, we must find a way to stop this pattern and not feed off of it and not perpetuate it.

The more positive we can be, in thought, action, and words, the happier we become and the better our lives will be…like a cloud lifting up and away.

_MG_6356A wise woman, who at some point I will introduce, recommended I read “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book explains a code of conduct based on ancient Toltec wisdom.  The four agreements help us to reveal and eliminate those thoughts and beliefs that “rob us of joy and create needless suffering” (back cover of book)

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be impeccable with your word.

2. Don’t take anything personally.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.

When I find myself becoming judgmental or negatively affected by external events, I try to remember the lessons in this book and in these four agreements. It works for me.

In our journey to be well, we must tackle external forces that seek to break us down.  Don’t let it.  Hold your head high and be positive. Let’s finally find a way to help make the world a better place by working together and caring for each other instead of fighting and tearing each other down.



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